GOD SPEAKS TO GUYS IN THE GARDEN ISLAND

I just found god. Somehow one of my comments in THE MENS’ ROOM, “…none of the heaven and hell and damnation stuff, none of the sin stuff got poured into my hungry little mind…” ended up in a religious site. Really stirred god up. He sent a message to me, direct, through the discussion site of the Garden Island. Holy Jiminy Crickets! And all this time I was waiting for an earth shaking voice from the sky…or a thunderbolt.

There were nine posts in all. I was mentioned by name once and referred to once in a lengthy diatribe, “…pray for the wretched, bitter, miserable, shriveled-up hate-monger whose only depraved joy in life is mocking those of us who find personal peace in you, and comparing you with her dog as she did yesterday…then sarcastically claiming to do so in the name of ‘peace and love’. Amen. Hell awaits!” This god can’t even keep his personal pronouns straight. No wonder it took him forty years to write the Ten Commandments.

He also claims he did not give us “…a Neil and Bob.” Wow he’s a dyed in the wool Republican. Does he get to vote, do you think? Seems he couldn’t even perform such a simple godlike thing as fixing an election. Is he slipping or what?

He also speaks to Kimo Rosen, A Jewish friend  who posts on line, who he calls “… a serving narcissist from whom he wants , ” once again I quote, “…3 hail Mary’s and the Lords prayer out of you twice daily for the next 10 days.” Kimo hasn’t even converted yet. Don’t think he ‘believes’ in the Virgin Whoever. I’ll ask next time I see him.

He also speaks to Pete, a friend of his, I guess,  and says, “Give em it Pete!!” Well, considering everything I guess you can’t expect the guy to speak’a’da English so good. Then again, he did write the Bible which, as nasty as it sometimes is, is often, in a literary sense, quite exquisite.

And  to interesting, another poster,  he claims, she “…just made the watch list.”

He also says, “The praise the Lord line is always open to callers. Even to those in government buildings….”

Holy Moley. You can get a direct line from a government building? Whatever is the world coming to?

Well, for a moment I was happy I had called such a distinguished speaker into the discussion group-even if he did call me silly, childish and stupid names and sent me to hell but after re-reading I’m beginning to have serious doubts.

He claimed that “Ever since man has relinquished his chattel rights over women things have turned for the worse.” Holy four letter word, god, them’s fighting words.

At any rate if god would like to reply, I would, and I’m sure many of us would, appreciate a response. I promise It will be posted verbatim.

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