THE DUDE AND THE NUDES IN THE GARDEN

In 2011, about this time, March 22, I played around with Hugh Hefner’s book, The Century of Sex, and all the nudes that went with it- Marilyn and John and Yoko and all the rest of the glorious others. Out of the blue, it’s raining, I decided to play around with the Dude’s nudes in years gone by. I’m talking about  the head honcho Dude of the Old Testament-not the thousands of others I really don’t know that much about. There are, in 2012,  some 4200 religions, many of whom have more than one Dude. The Hindus  have 309, girls and  boys and stuff, who, however, like the trinity, is really one Dude wrapped up in many.

Today in America the head honcho Dude of the Christian religion  has pretty much taken center stage and thus is worth another  fling dedicated to him. From one perspective, he’s really a little more important than Hugh who’s getting old and ready to go.

All of us can only hope, hopefully, that old Dude does likewise. I mean this old Dude is really making a mess of thing. He’s got his fingers in all the pies. Really gets around. Politics. Wars. Gender, he’s definitely a he. Economics, he’s a dyed in the wool capitalist. A  Republican, and, I’m quite sure, would not take kindly to Hugh or Marilyn, John or Yuko, or any of the glorious others. He’s kind of sexually repressed.

Therefor, I thought,  it might clarify things if I took on another biblical story. Genesis. In the beginning, after the Dude turns on the lights and puts the finishing touch to planet earth and heaven-there’s not much talk about  galaxies or black holes or quasars- he planted a garden, called Eden, and built  a gardener, Adam, a guy, to tend it. Created from the dust of the earth, that was a pretty good idea, but Adam got lonely so the Dude made him a mate, Eve, a girl, created out of his rib. A much more complex and tidier assembly, I think.

This is where the plot heats up. In the garden there were all the plants and herbs and tress with seed.  Animals, too, and also a tree of life and a tree of knowledge which the Dude told the pair not to eat thereof. Then-suddenly, out of nowhere- slithers a serpent who tells Eve  if she ate the forbidden fruit she’d be just like the Dude and know all about good and evil. Tempted, she ate it and then gave Adam a bite and then-voila- they discovered they were naked. They’d been naked all along-there was no Macy’s at that time-so what’s the big deal? Anyway, they covered themselves with fig leaves and hid when they heard the Dude coming.

And that’s it. He kicked them out of Eden ’cause they found out they were naked? Some plot. I mean most kids-2012- discover that when they’re  three and catch a glimpse of their Daddy’s Playboy.

If this is the cause of the mess we’re in, maybe somebody should send the Dude a subscription.

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