THUMPERS

I don’t like to generalize, but I have said,  and I’ll say  again, “I’ve never met a THUMPER  I could stand.”But that’s okay.The feeling is mutual.

I want to make it clear though, I’m not just talking about Christian THUMPERS. Any old THUMPER will do. There are 21 major religions. Many thousands of gods. Originally there were 11 versions of the Bible. There are 20 versions of the Quran.  Now if we factor in Judge Rutherford’s Jehovah’s and Joseph Smith’s Latter Day Saints we’ve a lifetime of foolish studying to do and every one of these religions and gods are the one true god. The head honcho in the sky. The one way ticket to heaven and way too too many of them go door to door to door-through rain or sleet or blinding snow- to peddle their god. Their book.

Joseph Smith’s guys, I hear, are the thickest in this pot of stew. His pups runneth over. Well, they did practice polygamy. Still do.There’s a whole town full of polygamists just outside Salt Lake City. My experience with them in their own territory was delightful, by the way,  but they weren’t pushing. The ones I’ve met  locally are a little green. Maybe they don’t have enough wives.

Suffering from altitude sickness the second day in Sundance, bedridden, I ordered a bottle of wine with dinner. I buy that bottle for about eight bucks at Costco. At Sundance I paid 35 dollars for it. it tasted much better. Anyhow I asked the nice  room service kid to open the bottle for me. He hadn’t a clue. I taught him how. If the THUMPERS  were reading  this, they’d have a ball with that one. I’ve never met so many men with so many sexual hangups. I think when I called them ‘sexually repressed’ it struck a chord. But I digress.

Back to  door to door.  Holy macaroni, I’ve had to sweep them off the stoop with a broom.

Then, of course, we have- more muddled mangle  mess-they who have different interpretations of the books and the gods and what the gods said and taught and stuff. These THUMPERS  all have direct wires and when it’s all over and their head honcho is the true head honcho they’ll kill each other over the right translation.

Numbers.

Chapter and versus.

1, There are four Catholic ‘sects’.

2. Rough count, 22 demoniationistss-ooops that’s denominationists-sects to any of us who stand, in great perplexity, outside the fold. Within each of these sects are little THUMPERS with their own story to tell. if you think I have a headache, Imagine how god- if there is a god- must feel. Talk about a multi-personality disorder. Holy moly. No wonder the old’a guy’s bonkers.

Seriously for a moment, all religious wars are 666, but sectarian wars are even worse. Time Warner or the government ought to step and take control of that communication system.

…and it gets worse.

I’ve compared THUMPERS to door-to-door used vacuum cleaner salesmen and you know how hard it is to get rid of them. But these flakes! These guys are even more persistent. They never let go. I think they get brownie points for converts.

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