YULE OVER THE TOP

An ancient pagan holiday, the shortest day of the year-the Winter Solstice- is the time of the year when the Sun God is born to the Mother Goddess. Observers of the night sky knew it was a time when the sun-which began its journey north and the days grew short, the nights long- seems to stand still on the horizon. For three days it moves neither north nor south, but on  the third day it  begins  its journey south and the days grow longer. If winters here can spring be far behind?

For shepherds and those who were observers of the night sky-they’d been studying it for thousands of years and could predict it- it was a natural, normal, seasonal event. For leaders-especially religious leaders- it was considered a holy event. For the people it was  a time of boisterous partying. Many myths, wonderful stories and traditions found root here.

Christmas trees? Believe it or not the Yule tree represented the phallus. The spirit of fertility. Did you know gifts under the tree actually symbolize semen springing from the phallus?

No religion could erase such a celebration so those selling religion just changed the story a bit and along came a mama, a papa, a baby and three wise men. Toss in some cows and sheep,  an angel or two and a star in east and away we go..

Eventually Christmas became a wondrous capitalistic sending spree. Buy. Buy. Buy. Spend. Spend. Spend.  Dollar signs dripped like semen from the tree.

Fast forward 2012. Did you know you can buy an artificial Golden Splendor Decor Kit and a 9 foot artificial Hemlock for $4,189 dollars ($4189.00) plus shipping from the Holiday by Design Front Gate Catalog? Some phallus…

…and remember semen dripping ? You can buy five oversize boxes, a 14 inch Round Green box (10 inches in diameter, 15 pounds), a 16 inch Square blue (12 inches wide by 13 1/2 inches deep, nine pounds), a 21 inch Round Red (14 inches in diameter, 9 pounds), a 24 inch Tapered aid (11 1/2 inches square, 9 pounds), and a 31 inch White (17 inches wide by 13 inches deep) for One thousand four hundred and thirty-five dollars ($1435.00) plus shipping.

We’ve all heard about pussy galore but this surely takes the cake and breaks the record.

 

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3 Responses

  1. one of your best blogs to date! LOL! I will run it during solstice in December!

    Like

    • Do you think it could have a better ending. Trying to organize, clean up my work space. Learn how to operate this machine. It sure makes a mess out of your old typewriting skills. Learning how to keep the thing charged. Boy oh boy is it fast Love’ya Bettejo

      Like

  2. As an editor I would cut the column and let it end with,”We’ve all heard about pussy galore but this surely takes the cake and breaks the record.” Forget everything you wrote after that and it will be stronger! Just my opinion.

    Like

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