AMYGDALYTES AN ENDANGERED SPECIES

Please understand I am always on the side of an endangered species. I mean, if the Komoda Dragon were to get on the list, I’d like to establish at least one perfect spot on earth where they coud live and be happy. No pair ever dying, a small family always open to viewing and visitors. Still, how many of the creatures do we need anyway?’

We need lots more elephants and penguins and polar bears and we must create hundreds of perfect foster homes in which they will be happy  until we can send them  back to their natural habitat.

But amygdalytes?  Ah, there’s the rub. If we could go into the past, would we want to keep Neanderthals from going extinct? I think we’d probably want them to evolve- not like the elephant and the penguin and the polar bear who should remain exactly as nature created them- but as a new and more handsome species.

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to go through life looking like a lady Neanderthal. And I certainly wouldn’t want to go to bed with one. Imagine having to give birth to one.

If there are any alive and reading this, please don’t take offense.I just prefer a more elegant profile.

I would like to digress for a moment and assure my readers that I know-just as they do-not all amygdalytes are males. Let us for a moment  consider the very curious female of the species. With their over active beliefs churning and burning and spinning like a clockwork  orange we might consider keeping one-or two-on a remote island something like the island on which we keep the Komodo family.

They, of course, can never be stored together.  Amygdalyets are fearful enough without being brought in contact with the real thing.

Understand, I’m not suggesting genocide- or anything like that- just selective non breeding. I don’t think they liked sex too much, anyhow. I remember one of them telling me  God said, in Judge Rutherford’s version of the Book, that her husband could caresses her breasts and she wasn’t fond of that. Her husband had never seen her nude. She dressed and undressed in a walk in closet. Considering everything, he was probably better off.

Many female amygdalytes  that ‘jump the fence’-escape from the books and their Gods- often go off on a little green men or a lizard brain tangent. Which, though a fascinating fantasy, gets a little trying with the telling.

We don’t yet know if one is born with an enlarged amygdala or one is created.  We can think of the yoga practitioner who thinks standing on her head opens the lotus-the pituitary gland, the seat of the soul-at the top of the head. Maybe we could teach them to stand on their heads and measure before and after?  I am not of scientific bent but this could be interesting.

I think one of the easiest solutions for the old gray-faced patriarchs, with those two dollar hair cuts, would be a required medical procedure: the amygdalectomy. Kind of like a pre frontal lobotomy only in the rear. I can think of another surgical procedure but I’ll leave that to your imagination.

I must be honest here-honesty being the best policy-I would not miss them. I would wish them a fond farewell just as I did the raptured guys last year. What say you?

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One Response

  1. you lost me?

    Like

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