Trust me on this one, dear readers, it rains in Paradise. We’re not called the Garden Island for nothing.

I live just below the wettest spot on earth, Mount Kahili. I think I live in the wettest valley on earth. I’ve watched a big black cloud embrace the mountaintop and slink down the mountain, like a slithering slug, to come to a screeching halt directly  atop my roof and rains all over me. I’ve lived in a plantation ‘mansion’ on the Alexander Dam Road that was mostly buried in drippy fog, while at the bottom of the muddy drive Bill drove to work every morning, the sun was shining.

Well, it is the age of Aquarius, I was born to be drenched.

I hope many of you, reading this, tune in to the Garden Island news paper Forum-the most well read page in the paper-and become familiar with the voice of Kauai. Our little  struggling  newspaper  is the heart of Kauai. The Forum-our voices- are it’s soul.

I think newspapers have souls.

Anyway, it’s pouring on Kauai today. Flash floods, mud slides and collapsing old dams are the order of the day. Downpours so heavy windshield wipers can’t keep up and you can’t see through the window. Rain drops the size of raisins  are clouding our vision.

Well, there are fewer drownings, that’s a plus sign. Who goes to the beach when he/she can sit in a warm, comfy, unsmoked- filled bar, dive and restaurant complete with food and drink and gossip? Hey, on Kauai we feed on gossip. Who’s screwing who, who’s ripping who off, who’s headed for skid row? Or already there.

Otherwise it’s just a normal day in paradise. Greedy politicians are on the take. angry voices take to the airwaves, public television screens and the Forum. House bound, cabin fevered  Kauaians  vent their spleens. And, in the darker region, communists , atheist, protesters, rebels and conspirators abound.

We could be, without a doubt, the most contentious, diverse-racially, religiously, politically- island in America. In the world. Good thing Hawaii has good gun laws, otherwise we’d probably all be out there shooting at each other.

We don’t agree on anything.  No how. No way.

We need more highways. Not. We need more development. Never. We need more tourists. Yankee go home. We need more bucks. Always. We need to get the damn homeless off the beaches and out of the parks. Sooner rather than later. Wal Mart’s suffering. So many shops and stores closed down at Kukui Grove- our Ala Moana Center- you wonder how they pay their bills. J.C. Penny’s gone. Borders. What next?

We are micrcosmic America.

On the upside, there’s always an upside: we have an excellent community college.The best amateur theater. We love our artists and celebrities and they love us.

Mike Bond will visit Talk Story Book Story tomorrow night. I’m going to be there. Buy a signed book.  And I need another book like my valley needs more rain. My library needs a library.

But we have Hanapepe and Kimo’s blog and my column and Jeffrey Pears.

We are the richest island in the country.


4 Responses

  1. Great column my friend….


    • So good to hear from ou. Still trying to get my life in order. Kisses to you and Obmama. I think my computer is possessed. tee he


      • I called you many times to let you know our waitress (Ana Munoz) was on the front cover of Midweek two weeks ago. Just Google, (Midweek Kauai,Ana Munoz) I’m off for a bike ride with my best friend, Obama! Be well and may Darwin continue to bless you with all your wit and wisdom! ;D) This column with run next Wednesday in dakinetalk! Aloha The editor ;D)


  2. Okay. I’m slowly but persistently recovering. Can’t wait for our next Monday. I’ll bring my computer and my new beautiful smile. tee he Love and kisses to Obama. You, too. Freezing my lobes off!! Love you Me


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