October 31, 2014

A sabbath is a day of religious observance and abstinence of work. My dearest friend, a Jewish guy, disappears-with his precious dog- every Friday eve to  Saturday eve.

As a devout non believe-a non church goer I don’t  do god, sin, fear, guilt, greed, prayer, repentance or atonement.  All you guys who know me know I don’t do lots of stuff. Rarely get a day off ’cause my zoo must eat and be cared for everyday. The thought of them going hungry or thirsty is bad enough, but the racket would wake the dead.  Duke, my Macaw, would screech  the peace of the day away. Ari would whinny and snort himself hoarse-that’s a pun- but  not funny.  When the critter’s hungry, he starts tossing his empty bucket about. What a racket. Boots, my grown up puppy,  would snuffle  and sigh and woof herself blue and the new kitten would sing themselves into a cold hungry sleep.

My neighbors’d be sure I’d croaked and call the cops. Creating sirens wails, traffic jams, confusion and chaos.

So, as a practical  secular sabbath observer, the first thing I’ll do is find someone to feed and tend the zoo. Easier said than done, but I can do it. Then I’ll select a day. Saturday and Sunday are booked pretty solid so  I’ll choose Monday. Moon’s day.  From Sunday eve to Tuesday  morning.

I’ll build a tree house-well not really a house, a platform-8X8, 8ft high with a rainproof green shed roof. A  great trunked tree, roadside, will be the wall on the street side of the land. Four round poles will hold it up. It’ll be organic and  inexpensive. A wooden ladder twelve feet high will access the platform and a rope with a crank handle at the top and a bucket on the bottom will haul iced Dom, Beluga, and escargot skyward. It will have low railings on three sides, so I won’t fall out of bed, and a skylight so I can look up into the tree and watch the sky. The moon. The stars. The clouds.

I love champagne but cannot afford Gout de Diamonte, Taste of Diamonds at $1.2 million dollars. Can you believe? Someone called this a champagne for those with too much money too little sense. Read about guys like this in my book Children of the Extinction.

Escargot and caviar are okay dokay. Maybe the kittens to put on a show.

I’ll need a sleeping bag and pillow. LL Bean here I come. A pen and a pad. A candle.

I’ll dream the hours away. Think thoughts of peace and love and joy and health and contentment for all earth bound.  Be one with the tree. Whistle with the birds. Touch the breeze that rattles the leaves.  Sip chilled wine. Snack on fish eggs and snails. Nose the fragrance of nature.  Look out on the world. Above it all.

With first rays of dawn I’ll descend the ladder and hope my thoughts touched all living things on planet earth.

Remember I’m on Ho’ike. Watch me. Here is the video link:

or Arts and Entertainment